I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure - the “last love letter” - for now anyway!:

I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure - “love letter VIII”:

Wendy left Neverland with a tear in her eye knowing if she stayed with Peter Pan she would lose out on sharing a gift she was given long ago by the Goddess herself. She must share it but only with one who accepted the gift willingly and lovingly. Pan was not willing and did not like to share.  Wendy was all about sharing.  Anyways, if the Pan came home with her, she would kill the very thing that made Peter, Peter Pan, his ability to fly and to be free.  Clarity came to Wendy on the mountain top that morning through the crystal clear crow call of Peter Pan.  3 crow calls..caaaw, caaaw, caaaw echoed through the sky as Peter courted the Goddess Herself.  It was time for Wendy to go.  It was time. Wendy has had enough of fairy tales anyway.  She held the flower that the Pan had given her, the one token of love he had shown her clutched to her breast scared that if it weren’t real, no of this really happened at all.  Was she crazy?  She must be. You must be out of your mind to know. You must have the mind to know.  You know. No.  She looked up into the sun and caught Peter Pan’s shadow dancing amoungst the clouds for one last time.  God he was beautiful.  She would never forget her time in Neverland. She will always re-member.  It is what dreams are made of.

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure - “love letter VII”:

 Peter Pan flew by today. She was surprised.  He was always busy with this or that or “him” or “her” or Temptation or Fate.  His eyes were wide open today and she was in awe of what she saw there.  Pools of com-passion and love for the whole planet and every living thing in it.  He wanted to taste and experience everything. She wanted to taste and experience him. What has happened to her? Why did she care so much anyway? She knew she loved herself but perhaps she has finally found her-self in the eyes of another.   She has lost her power, her control.  This feeling of powerlessness is overwhelming her.  She cannot stop crying. She cries for all the times before when she dove off a cliff head first and crashed.  She cries for all the times when they could not see her beauty.  Why were they all afraid to look? Was she that ugly? No, she knew her own beauty even if no one else dared to see.  She cries for now because Peter Pan has shown her why she dove off all of those cliffs for in the past. She cries because it still remains out of her reach. She knows and she cries.  Why had Peter Pan flown into her life?  “Baby steps” he said.  Why would the universe do such a thing to her? What was the reason? Surely there must be some logical explanation?  The whales. The music.  Heart is open and she is afraid. She cannot stop the feelings despite all she does.  Why now? Why him?  The universe has asked her to take a giant leap of faith. What would she do?  He scared her like no man has ever.  Yet she knows all too well he makes others feel this way also.  He is loved by all. Could he know the difference between her love and everyone else’s?  Everyone wants to fly with Peter Pan.  He is breaking all of her rules. Beauty beyond her own.  Skills that match hers and an ability to fly and connect that has the world in awe of him. If she planned this moment long ago what was she thinking??  She wants to forget. You forget to remember.  She remembers and she is afraid.  He has no idea.  She is not sure if he even really cares.  He has never spoken of it. But he does.  Despite what she thinks, he does.  Despite what he is afraid to admit, he does. He tries to take her by the hand but she turns away.  His look and his touch feel like fire to her now. She cannot control it.  She cannot look into his eyes. He will know her secret.  Does he know already? She is vulnerable which is not a place she has ever been. Is this the lesson? Is this the experience she has been diving off cliffs for?   He’s Peter Pan and she’s Wendy. In the story long ago, Wendy gave Peter Pan a kiss. But the new Wendy has to be different. She cannot be like all the rest.  Peter Pan has had many kisses but not hers.  She longs to taste him just to see and experience it with full colour, feeling and sensation.  She knows once that happens game over.  She knew the gift she would give him, but would he?  How could he not?  Peter Pan knows but flies away soon and won’t be back for a long time.  This makes Wendy sad. She meet him too late or too early. Wendy wanted to know everything about Peter Pan. How could you not? He’s Peter Pan. She missed him the moment he left. Everytime he flew away he took her heart strings with him.  Wendy wants to cut the strings and be free.  It is time to let go.  Was he even aware of what she was thinking?  Did he know that she wanted to run away and never look back?  Too much on his mind for him to think about her.  His mind is clear and clouded.  As she listened to him speak, she saw her past, and future but not her present.  Her present is clear and clouded. He doesnt affect a thing in her world. She doesnt need a thing from him.  She can fly on her own but her whole world is his now. “Baby steps” he said. “Live in the moment” isnt that what the old professor said? In the moment, she is powerless.  She is out of control.  As they left, Tiger Lily stopped by to get Peter Pan’s attention.  Tiger Lily threw daggers at Wendy and it hurt.  She should have expected as much. Young and old, everyone wants to be with Peter Pan. Well, not her. They can have him. She just wanted to let him go and fly away and leave her alone in her peace. Let him go. Let go. Go. Heart is open. Cut the strings. Danger. She wished she never looked. She wished she never dove off that cliff head first.  The whales. The music. Why had she listened? When she fell, where would she land? Who would break her fall? The Lama knows. She was falling in love with Peter Pan. She was lost. She has been found. The Lama knows and that’s why he smiles.

I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure - “love letter VI”:

Tears stream down her face as she reads her lovers words. Are they saying goodbye or saying hello? She cannot tell but time will.  His emotions revealed behind masks of pain like his beauty hidden behind veils of forgetfulness.  Will he remember?  Will have the courage to unveil his past so he can see his future?  Time will tell.  The bride walks down the aisle veiled in her innocence and desire to love and be loved.  She is nervous about meeting her mate or is it her fate? Time will tell. 

I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure :- “love letter V”:

When you have been in the dark for ages and the light finally goes on you blink, you raise your hand up to cover your eyes because you are in awe of the enormity of the light. You then stand up and look and finally see what has been there, or not, the whole time. What you once felt was, is no longer there because the light has revealed the shadow for what it is,  an illusion of something greater, that which is far more beautiful and lasting than you could have ever imagined.  Then you open your eyes and your heart and breathe in this new reality.  And then you smile.  For you have have found it.  You have found Her. You have found Your Self.

I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure - “love letter IV”:

Hop, skip, jump, the grasshopper makes his way from here to there and back again. Where he goes no one really knows and who really cares?  The fun is in the journey in the adventure of things new like what kind of plans the universe has for me and you. I am not the past and you are not the present. The future is yet to be created by free will and assent.  Do you climb the mountain despite your fear? Or do you look back in the rear view mirror? Drive forward habibi, destiny awaits.  For me and you to take our leap of faith.  You know what you must do and so do I.  Too powerful our wisdom for us to deny.  The choice is always yours, that I know well.  The future is not yet created. Time will tell.

I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure - “love letter III”:

She cried last night for all of the broken dreams her child’s heart had wanted.  Never realizing how hard it could be just to be loved and to love without condition or expectation.  But what did she expect?  Sitting alone on her mountain had been hard.  She had climbed Everest thinking that when she reached the top, everything would be clear. But the air at the top of the summit is cloudy unless you bring your own light and clarity.  So she sat there waiting for the clouds to part and clarity to come.  Clarity had not yet come. Sititng there alone had been empowering.  She saw that other mountain tops were empty and that others had not yet dared to climb and reach.  The fire in her belly to know, to search, to find, to be had propelled her up the challenging climb. People thought she was crazy. They still do.  You have to be out of your mind to know.  You have to have the mind to know.  Mind your business the Indigo said to her once.  So she did. Busy ness was all she did. Tending her sheep, putting plans into place. She was the master builder.  Builder of unrealized dreams. What was her dream?  The complexity of her mind would never let her really know this truth clearly.  Clarity had not yet come.  She sensed the answer was simple but the risk large and she instinctively feared it.  She instinctively feared Him.  A tiny grasshopper found it way up the mountain and perched on her knee.  A grasshopper is a sign of good luck and good fortune but reminds you to take small sure steps forward. “Baby steps” he said.  “Slow down” he said. Slow down?  What did that mean? Did he even know himself?  Peter Pan never to grow up and be like them, always trying to prove them wrong, flew at top speed whenever he could for he feared the silence of his own heart. She knew this about him yet she admired he speed and ability to fly.  No one could fly as high as she could except maybe him.  She didnt really know yet because he hasnt wanted to fly with her yet.  She can only guess.  As he swooped down, he saw her tears.  He stopped.  She thought he would make fun of her and got ready for the barbs.  Boys always laugh at girls who cry.  She just wanted him to hold her. Gently he reached down and wiped her tears away with the back of his hand. His kindness surprised her.  His compassion overwhelmed her.  She was glad he was there.  In a flash this moment was over. Peter Pan flew away.  Typical. Men always leave her when she needs them the most.  It began to rain.  She didnt mind getting wet.  The rain fell down washing away all of her sins. It was cold and she began to shiver but a fire inside her began to rage.  She knew this and feared it.  What would happen if she ever lost control of it?  No one knew she never lost control of it. This was her secret that she had kept all of these years.  She knew it was a curse and a gift to give someone. Who could handle it?  The power to destroy and heal all at once.  The lineage she carried in her soul was great but a heavy responsibility to have.  They call it pleasure but it was her secret pain.  She had hoped Peter Pan might be the One to help her and share she secret but he always flew away. Hope floats on the wings of angels.  Angels had appeared to her this morning.  Three tiny romance angels woke her up from sleep to whisper in her ear “trust Him.”  “Trust who?” she wondered.  She knew Trust was the key to unlocking her secret but she knew she had never experienced yet.  How sad it was to have lived with such passion and not experienced passion and pleasure together.  She trusted no one with this knowledge.  It was her secret.  A secret she longed to share with someone.   She caught Peter Pan’s shadow in the sun as he swooped and dipped and chased the clouds.  Peter, Peter..would he ever grow up? She caught him looking at her before.  He pretended not to be interested as all boys do.  Her intuition told her he was trying to figure how she was.  But she knew from the moment she first saw him.  And for a second, he knew too.  She knew he wanted to taste her but was afraid.  Peter’s attention and affection had been caught up by Temptation who sits on the other mountain over yonder.  He likes pretty things and was easily distracted.  A typical boy!  She knew she herself was beautiful but knew her power was also feared.  She was not someone easily understood, and carried such a depth that would scare the casual seeker.  She did not fear being alone but she knew her secret must be revealed and healed and she could not do that alone.  The journey up the mountain is alone but immediately must be shared.  Divine union they call it.  Union of twin souls. She trusted that it would come one day, along with clarity and the One to unlock her secret.  “Trust him” the voice said again.  Peter’s laughter caught her attention and as she looked up into the sky to find him, she saw him in all his glory and beauty.  God, he was beautiful.  He swooped down and dropped a flower in her lap and smiled as he flew away.  “Trust him” the voice said.  She did and they flew.

 I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure - “love letter II”:

The language of soul is one we all know yet we stumble with the words and phrases.  We open our minds to all that is yet our hearts close in fear that we are wrong.  To speak too soon, too act too quickly, to make the wrong move or take the wrong step is the fear each one of us has.  Those who climb the Everests of their destinies know this well.  What is it that they are reaching for?  Why do they risk so much?  The Sherpas live peacefully and contently at the summit of all great mountains for they truly know the mountain’s real secret.  It is not real.  Nothing is.  All that is is not.  Don’t you see?  See what the ancients have created for us to find our way back home.  Home is where the heart is.  Home is the heart.  The climb up the mountain is the journey into your own soul. Into the beating, pulsing heart of your entire existence.  It is you. It is.  It is what it is the Sherpa said to the crying girl.  “What is it really?” she asked as she wiped away her tears. The Sherpa took her face in his wise hands and whispered in her ear, “it is love.” The memory of this moment will be with you forever beating consciousness alive and well kept safe in the wellness of your own sacred heart.  Open your heart and the world is yours.  Your heart is the world.

I recently found a file of old email “love letters” I wrote to a young male friend several years ago who was about to climb Mount Everest that I nicknamed “Peter Pan”.  He and I were never romantic let alone even held hands.  We had a brief strange intoxicating friendship that was dramatic, karmic and explosive.  It ended as fast as it started, not very civilly I might add.  However, when I was around his energy, creativity exploded within me; words flowed out of me. In a way, he was like a muse to me.  I have never since had that experience so I saved the letters. For whatever reason I am compelled to share them.  I now choose to take a “risk” and share my words of pleasure and pain with you.  Peter Pan and Wendy have not spoken again.  Since we last met, Peter Pan has climbed Mt. Everest 3 times and Wendy left Neverland to following her dream and finish her purpose. 

So many of us are looking for love, we must start to BE love. We must first look within ourselves, look inward and adore the diamond light within.

For your reading pleasure:

Time has not been a friend to me.  In the last few months I have met people either too early or too late.  Time and destiny are interwined for they travel as companions on the same road bring people together and tearing them apart when the lessons and tests are over.  I have not been impressed by this thing called Fate.  Without knowing, without conscious awareness the “fated” travel the journey called Life up and over mountains of challenges, across deserts of emotional turmoil and swimming across waters of loving bliss.  Walking alone on my road full of hope and desire I meet those destined to be my teachers.  Family, friend, lover, foe, they all play out different roles for my learning pleasure.  Pleasure. What is this? The bliss of my unrealized dreams. To have, to hold from this day forward isn’t that what they say?  Who will I have? Whose hand will I hold?  Time has not been a friend to me.